Remember "What About Bob?", and the clingy title character who wants and wants and needs and needs? He knows exactly what he wants -- validation, attention, and a large bowl of mashed potatoes.
I'm not Bob.
I don't really know what I want. I know a lot that I don't want, and I guess that's as good a place as any to start.
I don't want to say that I feel anything I don't really feel, and I don't want to imply that I think anything I don't really think.
I don't want to feel guilty for not believing that good parking places and green lights are a gift from God. And I don't want to feel guilty for not believing that red lights were divinely sent to keep me from getting in an accident two blocks down the road.
I don't want to see myself as irretrievably broken. I think we are all broken -- Camus says, "We all have the plague. We are born with it." But I am tired of a system that purports to heal me while simultaneously holding me up to an unreachable standard of behavior.
I don't want to clap my hands unless it's at a ball game or a concert.
I don't want to listen to any more sermons where I can fill in the blanks on the outline before I've even heard the message. I am tired of the feeling that I can say the pastor's words along with him just because I've heard the same lines of logic so many times.
I don't want to feel pressured to believe anything that somebody made up out of their own head. As far as I'm concerned, my mental jury is still out on how much of the Bible I want to believe, but I'll be switched if I'm going to buy into the purely manmade aspects of it any more.
I don't want to hear one more person say that Jack Daniels is off-limits to Christians because our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in the ghetto too, and I think he can handle a little bit of whiskey without compromising his principles.
I don't want to smile at anyone just because we are both dressed nicely and standing in the foyer of the church.
I don't want to pretend to be friends with someone just because we share some beliefs. If they are my friends, they will act like my friends. I am finished with the concept that all Christians are my friends.
I don't want to say the words "I just really felt like the Lord was leading me to ...", ever again. It would be fine by me if I never heard them again either, but I don't think there's much I can do about that.
I don't want to worship God until I can find a way to reconcile his verifiable behavior with his supposed character.
I don't want to hold anybody's hand just because the speaker says it's time to do so.
I don't want to continue to maintain the intellectual disconnect required to listen to people have repetitive, self-centered discussions about Scripture passages that are taken so far out of context you can't even remember what they were about in the first place.
This probably isn't a sound basis for a system of belief, but now that I think about it, I really would like some mashed potatoes.
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3 comments:
I don't want to either.
TO I WANT, I WANT, I NED I NEED
Well,
Each of us have the right to choose and believe as we want. Some even believe that for a leader to ask us to hold hands is an issue rather than an opportunity to seek both spiritual and physical unity. The gift of touch is one of our greatest gifts. Some humans are so mixed up and rebellious that they will not be led by God or man. Humbleness, a desire to know God's will for our lives and the willingness to REALLY love people and accept them as fallable and also searching.... is a position I have had to work hard at reaching.
It has already been predicted that a great falling away would occur and that we would become "extreme" lovers of ourselves...self worship.
This nation has bowed to the beliefs of other nations and a natural flow of skeptics, and those seeking what sounds good and palatible is swiftly appearing; but fear not. The signs of the time as predicted in "HOLY SCRIPTURES" have and are coming to pass.
You have the right to seek God and His guidance just as you have the right to have doubts. You seem to want to believe YOU have control of your life and future. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO ALL YOU CAN FOR YOURSELF( FREE WILL); BUT NEVER BELIEVE THAT GOD IS NOT AWARE OR DOES NOT KNOW... OH..., and would you please give me some examples of THAT system that holds you up to AN UNREACHABLE STANDARD OF BEHAVIOR?
I simply suggest you continue to genuinely pray and seek God's guidance.
TO I WANT, I WANT, I NEED I NEED
(CORRECTED TITLE)
Well,
Each of us have the right to choose and believe as we want. Some even believe that for a leader to ask us to hold hands is an issue rather than an opportunity to seek both spiritual and physical unity. The gift of touch is one of our greatest gifts. Some humans are so mixed up and rebellious that they will not be led by God or man. Humbleness, a desire to know God's will for our lives and the willingness to REALLY love people and accept them as fallable and also searching.... is a position I have had to work hard at reaching.
It has already been predicted that a great falling away would occur and that we would become "extreme" lovers of ourselves...self worship.
This nation has bowed to the beliefs of other nations and a natural flow of skeptics, and those seeking what sounds good and palatible is swiftly appearing; but fear not. The signs of the time as predicted in "HOLY SCRIPTURES" have and are coming to pass.
You have the right to seek God and His guidance just as you have the right to have doubts. You seem to want to believe YOU have control of your life and future. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO ALL YOU CAN FOR YOURSELF( FREE WILL); BUT NEVER BELIEVE THAT GOD IS NOT AWARE OR DOES NOT KNOW... OH..., and would you please give me some examples of THAT system that holds you up to AN UNREACHABLE STANDARD OF BEHAVIOR?
I simply suggest you continue to genuinely pray and seek God's guidance.
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